Blame it on the break up. It’s possibly jaded my brain but I find fucking couples (def: couples who write all there is to write about their sex lives) absurd, pretentious, morbidly obsessive with their orgasms, outlandish, and unreal.
It’s more reasonable for a bitter and twisted broken hearted individual to obsess about sex or what they find great about fucking, than those perfect sweet smelling couples and I am going to try to present this as logically as I can.
The general idea, which I think is misunderstood, is that singles are frustrated and therefore write. I’m going to wing it here, but I pose that blogging couples are the most frustrated of all. What do they do all day? Fuck?
Billions of couples, along with the ten couples I know, work and they do have sex. If they stopped to write all there was to write about it, then when would they fuck?
Thoughts of couples promoting normal lifestyles, while they spend endless hours documenting every drop of sweat, pre and post cum drop, is more abnormal than a divorcee, single, bachelor, bachelorette and desperado writing about sex.
I find the latter to be normal. They have time.
In most couple blogs one half writes more than the other. So what does the non writing/absent/seldom writing other half do? Then there are the in-absentia couple blogs where one half does all the writing like both parties participate in their blog when they don’t.
The amazing result is that many flock to these dens of coupledom thinking that they reflect one hundred percent perfection. I asked around, away from the web (of extravagance) and I was met with a few sneers.
Couple one has two children, both members work a full forty hour week each, they have childcare concerns, are in the tenth year of a mortgage and if they had a choice between writing about fucking and actual fucking they would fuck, “fuck the writing”. Their words, not mine.
Couple two are DINKS – double income and no kids. One is a marketing manager and the other is a CPA. The CPA often finds herself on an airplane twice a month, and spends time away on the computer or phone communicating with her other half. The marketing manager works overtime three days a week, and when I asked them if they’d write up their sex life they asked me if I was sane.
Couple three feature a stay at home mom of three or homemaker – a better term – and a commercial banker. She heads the school committee, and volunteers at a local nursery outside of school hours, and spends the rest of the time on her children, and husband. Their reaction, to my short quiz, can be summed in one word: giggles.
“Who are these people? Are they a part of the real world?”
my shortlist of doubts below:
couples in blogs never argue
they don’t expand on their relationship and sanitize almost everything (no in-laws or out-laws, no friends outside of their fuck-a-thons)
the Young & the Restless?
It ought to be The Married & Eternally Perfect (without friends, socializing, arguing, tension, & the usual married-coupled shit).
